Eight: Pancake Day
“Daphne has kicked us out.” Leo complained as he and Corey sheepishly shuffled through the door at Indigo Grove. “Apparently we were getting in the way, even though we weren’t even in the kitchen.”
“You should have expected that. Pancake day is her favourite day of the year.”
“Is the fasting really necessary though?” Sofia questioned cynically. “And does she need to police it so hard? She keeps lifting my top up and listening to the sounds my stomach is making to ‘verify’ that I haven’t eaten yet.” She made quotation marks with her fingers.
“She does it for our sake,” Corey said with a grin. “Her pancakes are so good you can’t stop anyway. I threw up my first year because I didn’t fast.” Sofia scoffed.
“That seems like an extreme example.”
“Honestly, Sofia.” Lola chimed in. “She makes so many different types. It’s a three-course meal. You want to try them all but it’s either have a taste or be capable of movement afterwards.”
“Yeah, and Daphne never really makes things twice. At least she never measures anything so even when she tries to replicate stuff, it always come out differently. So, I want to try everything, but then… it could kill me. It’s a tough line to walk.” Leo said.
“What kind of pancakes does she make?” Sofia queried.
“It depends on her mood. One year she went with a northern Indian theme.” Lola replied.
“Yeah, and then the next year her theme was tomato. All the pancakes were bright red, and she did, like, a pancake for every country that had an iconic way to use tomatoes in things or an iconic tomato dish.” Leo interjected.
“Then the next year she did spreads.” Corey added.
“Just spreads?”
“Yeah. She made a whole bunch of different spreads and stuff. Like carrot jam, and olive spread, and dulce de leche, and all sorts of stuff.” Leo explained.
“Ooh, remember the fig jam?” Lola drawled.
“Mmmm.” Corey reminisced, closing his eyes as he nodded.
“Oh, remember that hough spread thing?” Leo added with a laugh, and Lola gagged dramatically.
“Don’t bring that up. Please. Ever.” She retorted.
“What is it?” Sofia probed.
“I don’t even know. Some kind of weird, Scottish, cow shin jelly.”
“Ew.” Sofia responded with a shiver. “When will she be ready? I’m starving now.”
“I told her to aim for when we close. So, ten minutes?” Lola said with a glance down at her watch.
“It was getting pretty hectic in there when we left. It definitely won’t be long.” Corey agreed.
“Did you get a look at what her theme might be?” Sofia asked.
“No, I want it to be a surprise. I love a surprise.” Corey responded. His phone buzzed and he checked it and then stood. “I’m going to go and meet Kenny, I’ll see you all back at the flat?”
“Okay. See you soon.” Lola acknowledged. “Sofia, could you go into the back and switch the lights off? I don’t think we’re getting anyone else in now- we may as well start closing up.” Sofia nodded and disappeared through the back. “I hope Kenny is a bit more… receptive than last time.” Lola began once the door had swung shut after Corey.
“What do you mean?” Leo frowned.
“She just… she was only really interested in Corey when she came over.” She clarified.
“What was she meant to do? Spend all her time with us?” He asked. “He was freaking out about losing his job.” Lola turned to inspect what still needed cleaning. “Can I help with anything?” Leo offered.
“Can you just spray down the tables over there? There isn’t too much to do.” She replied and passed him a bottle of spray and a cloth. “And she ran out after five minutes because she found out that he shares his bed with a rabbit. She clearly wasn’t that committed to being a warden of his wellbeing.” Lola countered.
“Is this Kenny?” Sofia guessed as she re-entered the room. Lola gave a mumble in response. “She might have just been nervous.”
“Yeah. I don’t dislike her or anything. I’m just saying I hope that she’s friendly and stuff. I always worry about one of us dating someone who’s not really comfortable spending time with us all.”
“I’m sure it’s fine Lola; he’s not going to stop hanging around with us. He’s afraid of her apartment anyway, remember? All those little rodents.” Leo reassured her and Lola laughed and nodded. He came back over and put the bottle onto the bar. “Anything else?” Lola looked around and then shook her head.
“Shall we head up?”
When they pushed through the door, they were greeted by ambiguous, mingling smells that gave away nothing about what pancakes awaited them. Corey and Kenny were sat at the table, smiling and chatting with Daphne.
“You love to cook?” Kenny was asking.
“It was a really important part of how my parents showed their love and care when I was growing up.” Daphne explained. “My mum loved to teach me and my sisters to cook.”
“You have sisters?”
“4” She replied. “And two brothers, but they’re younger than us all and I think by then my mum had already raised a fleet of cooks, and she didn’t need anyone else fighting over mixing the pasta sauce or chopping the veggies. They’re pretty useless in the kitchen.” Kenny mouthed ‘wow’ with a smile and then looked over at the three who had just arrived.
“Hi,” She greeted. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“Hi.” Lola replied with a grin of her own. “How are you?” Then she turned to Daphne and said, “It smells delicious Daph!” Leo and Sofia pulled out chairs opposite Corey and Kenny and sat at the table.
“I’m great, thanks.” Kenny responded. “Very excited for this meal. Corey has been raving about Daphne’s cooking.”
“It is one of a kind.” Sofia agreed as she reached for a jug to pour herself a drink.
“What’s the theme this year?” Lola asked Daphne, who was beginning to bring pancakes over to the table.
“I didn’t go for a, like, flavour theme. I wanted to make the pancakes look really pretty. I kept seeing pictures of people decorating their pancakes online. So they’re just meant to be super pretty. They should still taste good though.” The plate that she delicately arranged on the table had alternating pancakes situated on it; one green and then one orange. “These are the starter ones- a salad pancake with spinach, rocket, cucumber slices, balsamic vinegar, and olive oil. And then the yellow-y one is lentil soup pancake.”
She placed a plate of pancakes in front of them, the top one adorned with a flower; petals of halved tomatoes encircling an olive in the centre. The pancake was speckled with poppy seeds. A collective oooh rose from the seated group. A second plate of soggy looking pancakes covered in beige love hearts landed on the table. “And these are tomato and olive pancakes. I made them pretty. And, um, those are chicken and syrup.” Daphne articulated. “I made some breaded chicken nuggets and fried them into the pancakes and then soaked them in syrup for a little while. They’re a bit ambiguous, but I thought the chicken made them a main course.”
“This looks great Daph.” Corey complimented, “Can I tuck in?” She nodded and he snatched a chicken pancake immediately. The gang silently picked pancakes from the centre of the table onto their plates until Daphne let out a giggle.
“What?” Leo prompted, a small laugh already escaping his lips too.
“The only time you guys are ever this quiet is on pancake day. Every year you get so invested in the pancakes that you forget to speak.”
“Your food is amazing,” Corey replied with food in his mouth, and Daphne pulled a face at him. He swallowed and then continued. “Your food is amazing, but I’m starving. I’m on a one-man mission to fill the hole in my tummy as soon as possible.”
“Is that not every meal ever?”
“I’m only ever this hungry after the pancake day fast.”
“You fast every year?” Kenny asked lightly.
“It’s a ritual. We made a deal with a demon to make sure that we stayed friends for life, and this is part of it. Every year we fast and then eat a meal to honour our sacrifice before we kill them as an offering.” Lola answered. “Which is you, of course.” Lola clarified, pointing at Kenny with her cutlery and then placing a mouthful of the salad pancake onto her tongue. Kenny smiled hesitantly.
“She’s joking,” Corey commented quickly, putting his hand over Kenny’s and squeezing it. “You aren’t a human sacrifice. You’re just my girlfriend.” Daphne and Sofia both pulled faces at him.
“That was so unconvincing.” Sofia snickered. “Do you enjoy your work, Kenny?” She changed the subject.
“Yes, I love it. I love getting to work with animals and take care of them.”
“Do you have to do a lot of stuff when the shop is closed?”
“Yeah. We have a litter of guinea pigs at the moment that need constant care. I have them at home.”
“Oh, the shop breeds?”
“Usually no, but there was an incident with the cages. One of the male pigs got into an enclosure and got a couple of the females pregnant.”
“Pigs?” Leo repeated incredulously, “I thought it was, like, a rodent shop.”
“Guinea pigs.” Kenny clarified with a laugh.
“She literally just said that they were guinea pigs, Leo.” Daphne muttered.
“Are you guys giving anything up for lent?” Kenny asked.
“I’m thinking of giving up sex.” Lola answered, mm-ing as she chewed on another bite.
“Aren’t you meant to give up something that you actually have?” Corey mocked, but Lola ignored him.
“I think it’s a good idea. Take back the power.” Daphne agreed. “Can you pass me a chicken pancake please?” She requested and held out her plate to no one in particular.
“You aren’t, like, trawling for dates or men or anything anyway. What power are you taking back?” Corey asked her, leaning back so Leo could place a chicken pancake onto Daphne’s outstretched plate.
“If anyone did show interest in me, then I would say no, and therefore I’m keeping the power all to myself.”
“Right,” He began. “That makes no sense.”
“Oh, shut up Corey.” She scolded and he laughed. “Do you have something that you’re going to give up?”
“No, obviously not. I don’t do that.”
“Yeah, but in the spirit of, like, just, seeing it as a challenge. Not a religious thing.”
“Oh, hmm. A challenge, you say?” Corey replied and put his fingers to his chin in mock thoughtfulness.
“This is a challenge.” Sofia chimed in, indicating to the mass of pancakes on the table. “This is enough of a challenge. Eating as many pancakes as possible.”
“We’ll barely eat any.” Leo replied before manoeuvring a forkful stacked with various types of pancake into his mouth.
“Not true! Because we fasted!” Sofia replied. Leo began gesticulating with his hands, unable to form words because of the mound of pancakes that were stretching out his cheeks. Corey stepped in to help him.
“It won’t actually make that much difference. Like, we might be able to eat 50% more than we would have been able to eat, but we’ll still not be able to eat an impressive amount. In one sitting.”
“What’s considered an impressive amount?” Daphne quizzed.
“For me?” He clarified.
“In general. What amount of pancakes would make you say, damn that’s a lot of pancakes?”
“Fifteen.” Lola said decidedly.
“Fifteen!!” Corey exclaimed, “I could eat fifteen here.”
“You’re insane.” Lola said and flicked her wrist dismissively at him.
“What did you consider to be a big number of pancakes?” Daphne asked Corey.
“I don’t know, fifty?” He replied.
“Fifty?!” Kenny gasped and Corey turned towards her.
“Exactly. That’s the reaction I want to get when I tell people how many pancakes I’ve eaten.”
“I couldn’t eat that in a whole day, never mind in one meal.” Sofia insisted.
“I could eat that in a day.” Corey said as though it were obvious.
“Yeah, me too.” Leo nodded his agreement.
“Nah, that’s so much more than you think it is, I promise.” Daphne said with a shake of her head.
“I think it could be doable…” Lola said, seemingly unsure of herself even as she said it.
“That’s over fifteen pancakes per meal!” Sofia replied incredulously.
“Good maths.”
“You could split it up. And it’s not, like, the ideal amount of pancakes, it’s the most you could eat.” Leo reasoned.
“Oh, that’s different. If it’s an eating challenge, then fifty is more reasonable.” Daphne chimed in.
“How is it different? Can you not fit the same amount either way?” Kenny spoke up, and Daphne put her knife and fork down as she replied.
“No, because if I was eating pancakes for breakfast and I had, say, 5 pancakes and then I was reasonably full, I wouldn’t keep eating. But if I was doing a challenge I would keep going until I felt sick. And then I would start eating again as soon as I could physically fit anything in, not, like, when I felt well enough to eat.” Kenny nodded in acknowledgement, but didn’t speak.
“I’m sniffing a challenge here…” Corey said and rubbed his hands together smugly.
“Noo, Corey. I don’t want to make myself sick just to prove that I can eat more pancakes than you.” Lola groaned.
“So you think that you can?”
“No. I can’t eat more pancakes than you, especially because I would draw the line way before you would. You’d probably eat nearly twice as much as me.”
“Do you think that you three together would eat more than me and Leo combined?” He followed.
“Yeah.” Sofia said with certainty.
“Then now I’m issuing a challenge.” Corey announced. “Tomorrow. 12am until 12am. Who can eat more pancakes, me and Leo or you three.” Then he quickly added. “Or four, if you’d like to join, Kenny?” She vigorously shook her head.
“Of course we can eat more. There are three of us.” Daphne scoffed.
“Can you?” Corey challenged. “Of all the challenges, I feel like this one is right up my alley. I really don’t know if you guys have the endurance to be able to push through discomfort like I can.”
“Oh, give over Corey. It’s not such a crazy test of will.”
“Shall we test it?” Do you agree to the challenge?”
Lola motioned for the three girls to huddle away from the table, and then whispered; “What do you think?”
“Let’s do it. They need putting in their place.”
“You can manufacture some pancake that won’t fill us up as much, right Daph?” She shrugged.
“I can try.” She mumbled. Lola nodded.
“Okay.” She said, then quickly added. “Let’s act like we think we can do it easily, so they don’t think we’ll try that hard. We’ve a better chance of winning if they don’t think they need to go absolutely ham.” The other girls nodded, and they dispersed from their huddle.
“Fine. Challenge accepted.” Sofia said. Corey cheered.
“Shall we make it interesting?” Corey said at the same time as Daphne impersonated him asking it.
“You’re so predictable.” She said with a playful roll of her eyes.
“Whatever,” He shrugged her off. “Shall we bet our rooms? If me and Leo win, we get our own bedrooms and you guys have to move into our bunk-bed room.” Sofia acted out counting out how many girls there were and then pulled a face.
“How will that work? There are three of us.” Corey shrugged in an equally mocking manner.
“That’s a you problem. You can work it out when you lose like the big losers you are.” He teased.
“Really mature of you.” Lola bit back, clearly irritated by his mockery.
“It’s true. I have a stretchy stomach, and I’m really good at challenges. I don’t crumble under pressure- I know you struggle with that sometimes.” Corey swaggered. He was needling Lola. She was fidgeting under the table, having put down her knife and fork, and her cheeks were beginning to flush a little. “I think, if I’m honest, I could probably beat the three of you on my own if I really put my mind to it. There’s not really that much that I couldn’t do if I reeaally tried to, and I-”
“Fine, deal.” Lola interrupted abruptly and held out her hand for a handshake. Corey grinned and reached over the table to shake it.
“Lola!” Sofia groaned.
“We aren’t going to lose.” She said, and then lowered her voice to pretend that she didn’t want the boys to hear. “It’ll be easy Sofia. You won’t even have to try. Just have a couple of pancakes for each meal and we’ll beat them pretty easily. There’s three of us.” Sofia pretended to be placated by this, but her eyes burned into Lola with barely concealed annoyance.
“Do we have enough stuff for the pancakes? I’m guessing that we’ll have to make some ahead of time if we’re all in work?” Daphne asked.
“Yeah. And we need so establish the rules so it’s clear and it’s non-negotiable when we win.” Leo added.
“How will we judge the amount of pancakes? Do we take a picture of every pancake or just tally them and trust each other?”
“I’m not trusting a tally. Selfie with every pancake.”
“That won’t even prove that we’ve eaten the pancake.”
“Okay, selfie with the pancake and then selfie when there’s one bite left of it. And timestamps.”
“Okay. That’s reasonable. We’ll tally them up at dinner on Thursday?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Right.” Lola said. “Why don’t you boys go and get what we need for pancakes, since you care so much about all this.”
“Sounds good to me.” Corey nodded. “I’ll walk you back as well whilst we go.” He said to Kenny.
“Okay.” She said quietly. “Aren’t we going to the lock bridge?”
“I’ll take you on Thursday? Before we go out for food?”
“We’re going out on Thursday?” She smiled sweetly as she asked.
“If you like? I was going to surprise you, but if you fancy it then I could keep the restaurant a secret and we could go out for some drinks afterwards?” She smiled broadly and then nodded shyly.
“Perfect.” He smiled, “Send me a list of what we need, Daph?” She nodded in response, and the boys jumped up and pulled on their coats.
“We aren’t finished with our meal!” Daphne protested, but they turned back with a grimace and clutched their stomachs.
“I need to walk off this mass inside my body before I can sit down and attempt any dessert pancakes. Is that okay?” Daphne grunted her agreement and waved them off, holding her stomach herself.
Once the boys were gone, the girls immediately began scheming.
“I can’t believe you bet the rooms!” Sofia scolded Lola.
“Oh, calm down. It’ll be me and Daphne giving up our rooms anyway, I imagine. Not you.”
“Woah, what? I’m not giving up my room.”
“No one is going to have to, anyway. So it doesn’t matter.”
“What is with you, Lola? This is so weird.”
“I got caught up, okay?” She whined. “He was winding me up. I hate it when he acts like he could do absolutely anything better than everyone in the world.”
“He was winding you up on purpose! So you would take the bait!”
“Well, whatever. It worked.” Lola dismissed and waved off Daphne’s words. “Listen. Call in sick tomorrow. Don’t tell the boys. We’ll just stay off and try and eat as many as possible, okay? Then we won’t have to give up the rooms.” She was obviously flustered by the situation. “But we have to act like we aren’t bothered. If they know how hard we’re going to try to beat them, then they’ll smash it out of the park, and we won’t stand a chance.”
“We’re going to need a better plan than just trying to convince them that we aren’t going to try that hard. They’re probably scheming too.”
“Ooh! How about this,” Sofia blurted out, “We buy plates that look the same as the ones we’ve got but they’re smaller, so the boys think that the pancakes we’re eating are full-sized but they’re actually, like, mini.”
“That isn’t very honest of us. Don’t we want to beat them fair and square?”
“No, I just want to beat them. I want Corey to think he’s been beaten, and realistically the only way to ensure that is to cheat.”
The door opened and Corey popped his head round the frame.
“Is my phone here?” He asked and Daphne picked it up from beside his plate and held it up in the air for him to retrieve. “Oh, thank god.” He breathed and pushed the rest of his body through the door. “I panicked for a second that I had been pick-pocketed. Then I thought, I couldn’t even call any of you or Kenny to help me, because I don’t have a phone, and I don’t know your numbers.”
“But it’s here.” Lola replied.
“But it’s here” Corey repeated. “And also I was still with Leo and Kenny when I realised. But I just thought, like, imagine if I wasn’t, you know?” Daphne mm-ed in response.
“Oh, also, now that Kenny has gone, I have some things I didn’t say because I didn’t want to say them in front of her.” Lola called out as he turned to leave. “Number one, you’re not one to talk to me about not having sex when you sleep in a bunk bed and you’re too afraid of your girlfriend’s guinea pigs to stay over at hers.”
“Low blow. I sleep in a bunk bed because of you.”
“I’m keeping you humble.”
“I would fly way too high if I didn’t have that holding me back. And I won’t be sleeping in a bunk bed soon. When you girls lose.”
“Uh, yeah. Whatever. Second, I cannot believe you’re going to take another girl to the lock bridge.”
“They love it!”
“How many locks do you have on that bridge now?” He shrugged.
“I don’t think it takes away from it that I’ve done it before. I still think it’s a nice thing to do, and it makes them so happy. It’s such an easy way to make them happy.”
“That’s so lazy.”
“Not in a lazy way! I obviously will go out of my way to make her happy, but I’m saying that this method is easy, so it seems silly not to do it. If I’m in the business of making her happy as often as possible, why not do all the easy stuff too?”
“I hate it when the stupid things you say end up making sense.” Lola grumbled. “Just, go.”
The following morning, Corey and Leo made a show of leaving for work, pulling their work jackets on in the kitchen and untying and tying their laces with their feet propped up on the dining chairs.
“Pancakes for breakfast?” Corey asked, holding out a hopeful plate that he had scooped off the table. Daphne shook her head.
“I’m not helping you win. You gotta make your own today, sorry bucko.”
“I thought you might play that card.” Corey said and playfully narrowed his eyes at her. She turned back to the stovetop. “Well! Me and Leo are off to work now. Come on, chap.” They turned towards the door and Corey called over his shoulder. “Have a great day, ladies. Don’t make yourself sick! That’s cheating.”
“They’re definitely skiving too and going to eat a bunch of pancakes.” Lola said as soon as they left. Daphne nodded.
“Leo’s work bag is still on the couch.” She pointed at it and Sofia laughed. “They’ll be off taking advantage of all the deals that restaurants are doing.” She added, turning the pan over on the stove and dropping another crepe onto the plate beside it.
“Yeah, agreed.”
“But that’s good, because restaurant pancakes will be much more filling. I’m making us crepes, and we’re going to eat them plain to avoid filling up on toppings.” Daphne stated matter-of-factly, and Sofia giggled at her seriousness as she poured another thin layer of batter onto the pan.
“This feels so intense already.”
“It is intense.” Daphne insisted. “I love you girls, but I don’t want to share a room with either of you. I don’t know how they do it. I love having somewhere to hide out when I’m stressed out or sick of everyone.”
“I genuinely think they’re just less sentient than we are.” Lola stated flatly.
“They’re smarter than I am.” Sofia countered.
“Intelligence isn’t the same as sentience. Like I think we exist in our life and our bodies and the moment more. I think they probably forget to notice that they’re sharing a room.” Lola expanded on her point.
“Mmm. Maybe.”
“They do think way less than we do.” Daphne agreed. She turned to face the girls as she spoke, flipped the pancake nonchalantly, then turned back and put the pan back over the flame.
“Oh, without a doubt.” Lola nodded. “Or they’re thinking about stupid stuff. One time Corey and I were walking somewhere, and I thought he was mad at me because he hadn’t said a word to me in ages. You know he never shuts up, so I was concerned I’d done something. I asked him what he was thinking about- I remember this so vividly because I realised then that their brains are completely different to ours- he said he was just wondering if anyone had ever actually had a piano fall on their head like in the cartoons.” Daphne spluttered a laugh.
“That’s ridiculous!” She exclaimed. “I feel like when my mind wanders, I always end up thinking about something stressful, or something that I have to organise… Or, like, I’m planning the next month of my life. It happens so often that I ask one of them what they’re thinking about, and they’ll say ‘nothing’.”
“Innit! What do you mean, nothing? How can you just exist with no thoughts?” Lola said with a laugh.
“I’m jealous.” Sofia replied.
“Nooo, the spice of life is in my inability to stop existing in it. It’s annoying as hell, but I’m here and I care and I can’t stop thinking about how to perfectly schedule my life, or what to wear for the next two weeks, or how to organise the kitchen better. It’s got to be a positive or it’ll ruin my life.” Lola said.
“I should get that tattooed on my eyelids.” Daphne responded as she placed the plate piled high with pancakes on the table. “The spice of life is in my inability to stop existing in it.” She repeated Lola’s words, enunciating it dramatically. “But come on, let’s dig in.”
Corey and Leo sluggishly opened the door and wandered inside slowly, their movements laboured as though they had all the pancakes that they had consumed strapped to their backs.
“Hey,” They greeted with little energy. The girls looked around.
“Hey.” Daphne said lethargically. The two boys joined them on the couch, and nobody spoke for a while.
“Did you stay off work to eat as many pancakes as possible too?” Daphne asked. Leo grunted in response.
“I feel disgusting.” He groaned.
“Yeah, I feel awful.” She agreed.
“This has been a horrible decision.”
“It really has.”
“Today was a mistake.”
“Who won?”
“I don’t care anymore.”
“I haven’t gone through all this for nothing.”
“I can’t bear to look at the photos of the pancakes. I actually don’t want to know. I couldn’t possibly eat another.”
“I don’t want to see a pancake again, as long as I live.”
“I wouldn’t look in the fridge then.”
“Shall we postpone crowning the winner for when the worst of the dread is gone?”
“Yeah.”